"And we conclude with an announcement from our sponsor"

This blog seems unsuccessful.

Although the idea of having this was something that really excited me, I didn't really a motivation to blog in it everytime I had a cool thought or a God moment or just a really cool event in my life. Heck I went on a mission trip a few weeks ago but I so much happened, but I never wrote about it. Friendships have come close to ending in my life. Another one of my friends texted me late last night to tell me that the 'Jesus thing' was finally hitting her for real and although she's been saved since she was a kid, she feels like she truly started believing last night. So many things, so many opportunites to write in here... yet I haven't. And that makes me wonder why I don't have that desire.

I guess it's mostly from the lack of readers. The number of people who will read this? I would guess none, but maybe a lucky few who have been browsing. The number of people who will leave encouraging comments? Or destructive comments? Or just hello comments? None, none, and none.
I shouldn't be doing this for other people... that's why I made a new blog as an anonymous one. Because on my last blog, tons of friends had subscribed to it and whenever I posted a new blog, it would be sent to them and I knew they would read it. Sure I had plenty of strangers who commented and such, but I just felt when I was writing it would always be biased. I would always consider who was reading the blog and try to make myself seem either more appealing or get more sympathy or seem more Godly or something. I always felt like I was trying to impress someone.
So it's good being anonymous... but being anonymous for no one hasn't to work. I was never good at keeping up with journals. And I just feel like although this blog was predominantly for my own purposes, my own evalutations, my own chance to look at my life and see how God's moving... It's just something where I need to know there are people reading it. I need to know that I'm not just writing this for an empty void, which I feel like I'm doing write now.

So I'm taking a break from blogging, as apparently I have been for a while, and will probably return to xanga. It's more browsing-friendly I guess? I like this format better, but xanga allows for more readers to cross each others paths. I tried browsing on blogger, but had very little luck. So thanks blogger, but this is it